Sunday, 22 May 2016

Sebuah Kematian yang Menghidupkan

          Jika Rasulullah itu yang maksum punya tahun kesedihan, aku sebagai manusia biasa pendosa juga punya tahun kesedihan juga.
 
          2016. Sebuah permulaan tahun 2016. Usai kelas, aku gegas pulang ke mahallah untuk solat asar, usai solat, kawan aku Zaf dapat panggilan telefon dari mama. Mama kata Mak Faridah meninggal, beliau memang disahkan mempunyai kanser payudara dan kanser kolon. Selang 2 bulan, Pak Ngah pula dijemput ilahi, kisahnya bermula ketika beliau menghidapi demam berpanjangan kemudian sudah tiada. Selang sebulan, aku dikejutkan dengan pemergian sahabat baik, Zaf. Mereka semua tidak lain tidak bukan adalah orang yang dekat dengan aku.

WARKAH UNTUK SAHABAT


          Pertama kali aku berkenalan dengan mu, sewaktu itu kau berdiri memegang mikrofon didepan lalu memperkenalkan diri sebagai Zaf, aku menyangkakan kau seorang yang riang tetapi pendiam. Sangkaanku tepat. Aku sekelas dengan kau, tapi aku tidak banyak berbual dengan kau kerna aku memandang mu dengan satu darjat yang lebih tinggi dariku. Kau begitu baik. Kau juga begitu bijak. Tahun pertama aku tidak banyak mengenalimu, tetapi masa berlalu membuatkan aku mengenalimu dengan lebih mendalam.

          Kau begitu seronok ketika mengisi borang interview DQ, kerna kau punya hasrat dan impian untuk menjadi al-Hafizah. Ternyata impian mu tercapai setahun sebelum kau menghembuskan nasfas terakhir. Aku tidak punya hasrat untuk menjadi al-Hafizah, maka, aku buat tak endah ketika mengisi borang tetapi kau yang banyak membantu aku. Kau antara insan hebat ketika iv di SMKAJB. Hampir keseluruhan satu muka kau bisa hafal hanya dalam masa 30 minit, sedangkan aku, hanya 5 baris sahaja. Takdir Allah itu indah. Aku dan kau dapat meneruskan perjuangan, berjuang dan berperang bersama menghafal kalam Allah. Kau begitu hebat dalam menghafal. Kau begitu hebat mengulang semula al-Quran. Aku sering bertemu dengan mu di masjid, tempat kesukaan mu ketika ngantuk adalah duduk ditangga sambil menghadap kipas. Sungguh nyaman. Di masjid lah tempat biasa aku berjumpa dengan mu. Subuh, Maghrib dan Isya'. Akhirnya, aku dan kau berjaya menamatkan perjuangan di Darul Quran. Kita sama-sama memikul satu tanggungjawab yang begitu berat.

          Pada hari pendaftaran UIA, kau datang dengan keluarga mu, begitu juga aku. Aku, kau, Dhiya dan Anisah ingin sekali duduk sebilik tetapi kau pantas menarik tangan ku ke Mahallah Zainab Registration sewaktu fellow disitu memberitahu bahawa kita berempat perlu berpecah dua. Keluarga aku dan kau saling mengenali, bertanya macam-macam. Waktu itu tubuh mu gagah dan sihat. Walau  naik tangga penat tapi kau masih kuat untuk buat kerja lain. Hebatnya kasih kau pada aku, kau ingin sekali sebilik dengan ku untuk sem seterusnya.

          Pada awal sem, kau masih kau yang dahulu, tidak apa yang berubah, kau masih gagah, kuat, mudah senyum. Tetapi, kau mula menunjukkan ketidaksihatan mu, kau kerap batuk dan demam. Aku mulai risau bila kau kerap rasa panas dan berat badan mu mula merosot, selera makan mu juga berkurangan. Dua minggu sebelum kau pergi, aku sempat menunaikan hak sebagai seorang teman. Aku, Nadiah dan Izyani membawa mu ke PPUM, kau ditahan sementara di ER.

          Sahabat, jika kau ada disini, bacalah tulisan ini. Kau adalah sahabat yang sungguh baik hinggakan tiada keburukan mu aku jumpa. Kau begitu istiqomah melakukan tahajjud dan amalan sunat yang lain apatah lagi amalan wajib. Tahajjud mu tidak pernah tinggal walau keadaan dirimu begitu lemah dan tidak bermaya. Bangkitmu pada 3 pagi untuk bertemu Pencipta mu lalu meneruskan perjuangan sebagai seorang pelajar, belajar hingga subuh. Kau sering mengingatkan aku untuk solat awal dan ajak berjemaah, kau juga sering mengingatkan aku untuk mengulang Quran dan membaca surah mulk sebelum tidur. Kebaikan mu yang begitu banyak terhadap ku tidak terkira, sedangkan kebaikan aku pada mu bisa dikira dengan jari. Kau sering mengingatkan aku untuk tidur awal agar aku bisa tahajjud seperti mu tetapi aku sering mengendahkan kata-kata dan kejutan mu. Kau sering mengejutkan aku untuk solat malam tetapi aku kerap terikut dengan ajakan syaitan untuk terus tidur.

          Sahabat, kau juga sering mengajar aku tajuk yang aku tidak faham. Kau sering beri aku semangat untuk aku terus belajar tanpa putus asa. Kau begitu pantas mengecam bahawa aku dalam kesedihan tetapi aku sering mengatakan bahawa aku tidak apa-apa supaya kau tidak begitu risau. Setiap kesedihan yang menerpa diriku kau sering menyelitkan kata-kata semangat yang berhikmah. Kau juga tahu aku kuat makan, maka, kau selalu membelanja aku makan. Aku ingin minta maaf kerana aku tidak bisa menjadi sahabat yang baik kepada mu sedangkan kau sangatlah baik terhadap ku. Aku menyesal kerana aku tiba di rumah mu 2 jam lambat, niat ku sememangnya ingin melawat mu sakit, tetapi, semasa dalam perjalanan ke rumah mu, aku dapat berita yang sampai sekarang aku tidak percaya, kau telah menghadap Ilahi.

         Sahabat, kematian mu adalah kematian yang menghidupkan. Aku berada disisi mu dari saat tubuhmu masih panas hingga tubuh mu selamat dikebumi di liang lahad. Semua insan yang berkata tentang mu, mereka berkata yang baik-baik. Mereka juga menyetujui aku, kau sememangnya insan yang baik bukan pada sahabat tetapi pada jiran juga adik beradik dan keluarga. Sahabat, ketahuilah, yang menggali kuburmu itu abang saudara ku (sepupu), dia mengakui, sepanjang dia menjadi penggali kubur, kuburmu adalah yang paling senang dan mudah dan cepat untuk digali. Ketahuilah sahabat, yang memandikan mu dan mengkapankan mu itu maklong ku ( kakak mama ), beliau mengakui, urusan mu begitu mudah, tubuh mu masih lembut dan senang diuruskan. Pergi mu dengan senyuman dan muka berseri membuatkan makcik ku yang membuatkan baju mu senang hati tanpa risau melihat muka mu. Mugkin sahaja Tuhan sudah tahu bahawa amalan dan tanggungjawab mu sudah cukup untuk menghadapNya.

          Sahabat, berehatlah kamu, perjuanganmu sudah selesai, Tuhan ingin kau rehat setelah kau berpenat lelah menaburkan kebaikan dibumi Nya. 20 Mei 2016, kau dipanggil oleh PenciptaMu. Semoga kau ditempatkan bersama ahli syurga. Moga nanti kau sambut aku dipintu syurga

        
         

         

Friday, 19 February 2016

Frienship Never Stop

FRIEND IN NEED IS FRIEND IN DEED...

          I'm quite a gangster person. Everything I'm done sometimes make other people feel uneasy towards me. I'm also quite talkative so every tiny thing in my heart I will tell my friend so that, my words sometimes little harsh to them but for me it just 'words'. What I need in this friendship is just IKHLAS friend. Sincere to hear all my sadness and happiness , sincere to friend with me, and sincere to bring me to the right path. Strangers that still not really know me well, they will say that I'm a fierce person. From my outer side of myself, I'm look fierce but I'm really nice and talkative... Trust me. I'm also a spoil girl towards my parents and family members, but I'll try to hide this kind of sifat from other people and also my friends.

         This semester is a challenging sem for me because I took three core subject and all about calculation whereas I'm very weak in calculation. My roommates also known as my best friends, all of them is a brilliant and clever student, in this room, I have the lowest level of intelligence. It had been proved as I obtained the lowest mark of quizes. Whether it physic or chemistry or mathematics. Sometimes, I feel very down but I feel glad that I have my parents to support me. I never call my parents in front of my friend because I don't want to burden them with my simple problem that I can solve. I realized that I'm not clever as my friend and my sister but I try to dig knowledge as many as I can. My parents always said
 " if you think that you're not a clever student, its okay, as you want to study and become good child,student and friend , it enough for us "
Pray for me. I ask for your dua, to pray for me. Pray to Allah that I will become good 'abd , good child , good person for ummah and beneficial to other people.

          Thanks a lot to Nadiah Kamal because you always make my day. You always try to fight with me and I feel fun with that. You always heard all my stories. You also make me want to laugh whenever I see you. You just like me ,  a lazy person but the different between you and me is you are smarter than me. Thanks to you because you let me lend your shoulder to cry. You also teach me in physics and mathematics. Even you is a quite lazy person but you are really brilliant. Its a gift from Allah to you. 

          Lastly, I feel very glad to have many friends and parents to support me. I appreciate that a lot. Thanks guys.

Saturday, 16 January 2016

My Sistorr

Dear My Beautiful Big Sister, Akillah Sam,

Life with luxury scholarship is fun right? Absolutely its fun. I heard you will have a fun trip to UK with ur friends. I hope u enjoy it.

Appa had though about my degree. He keep mentioned about loan ( PTPTN ), he also keep mentioned about Ayyub and Amirul's school fee. Money is not everything but everything need money. From now on, I have to save my money, limited my money for future.

My wish since childhood until I'm grown up to be like you never gone. I hope one day I will make our parents smile like you did. I'll try to study hard like u my sister.
I hope you read my heart as well and make dua for me to become a successful child to our parents like you.
                       Your lil beautiful sister,
                                     Nabila Sam

Sunday, 27 December 2015

Je t'aime

Dear My Beloved Handsome Lil Bro, Adam Sam,

I know how hard you're trying to become like us. When appa said to you
 ' you must go to DQ like ur sister '- sometimes,
 ' you also can become like Kak Kila, she went to Egypt so, maybe one day, you can go other places like Medina or Mecca'- other than that appa always said this
 ' you must get at least  8A's for your SPM, or just become like Kak Kila- straight A's '

How much you must bear all of this? How long you must hear this kind of sentences? How hard for you to let it go..

I think I know how you feel, but I think you must feel the burden more than me. When teachers always compared between you and us. When teachers told me about you at school. When you must hold a big liability at school. When appa asked you to become olahragawan like Kak Kila.

Its hard for you to fulfill those kind of 'request'. You have been burdened with someone 'request'.
When appa and omma went to work, you study at your room alone. Sometimes you asked me some questions but I couldn't answer it. I'm sorry Bro. When I saw u slept on the books, i feel like you re not study for yourself to become successful person  but you study because others 'request'.
Bro, just be yourself, never push yourself on a thing that you actually can't do. 

Last but not least,who you re, how you end your schooling, how many A's you will get, I'll support you till the end, I will love who you are and I will give my best.
               
                                                                                     Your beloved cute sister,
                                       Nabila Sam

Saturday, 12 December 2015

Grateful is Beautiful



      I’m very grateful to live in this happy family, although in nature there would be a significant problem. I remained grateful. Today’s writes do not means that I want to boast up myself but I just wanted to share a sense of gratitude to others, that I’m very glad to live with my beloved family . 



     From both sides of my parents big family, my sister is the first person who studies abroad, before this none of my relatives study abroad. However, in the next year, I have an older cousin studying at Ireland in accounting field .  My sister is a second person in  family who take medicine field. My thanks grown up when I remembered that my sister is the second generation who attend SMAKJ ( best religious school in Johor ), even though before that I have an older cousin  went to the school , however, she is not well known like my sister’s. My famous and brilliant sister  made  every cousin that goes to the school,the teachers would say that they are my sister's cousin, teachers did not say they were my cousins, even I have long  period with my cousin compared to my sister. And, my name is rarely mentioned by teachers because they would mention my name as a younger sister to my older sister. The fact is, my sister is not a clever girl since her childhood, she can only read at the age of 8 years old, but she can perform brilliantly when she grew up.



     Not sometimes but often, teachers always make comparison between me my sister because she has high level of ingenuity and hardworking  compared to me. But I'm proud to having a sister like my sister. My thanks getting bigger when I passed the Darul Quran interview. Darul Quran ( International Maahad Tahfiz ) is one of the place that my sister really wanted to go, when she knew she failed the interview, she’s like having a nightmare. While me? I did not have a piece of a dream to get into DQ, but I managed to pass the interview phase. My parents forced me to go to DQ because among 1000 students that went the early interview only 100 student has been chosen, . Here, I started smiling because for the first time I've heard people say that  I'm better than my sister because my sister does not pass the DQ interview but I passed. And I was the first person from both  parents big family who memorise the Quran. I became the trigger to my family members to memorise the Quran, I became a pillar of confidence to my uncle to send their children to Maahad Tahfiz ( school to memorise Quran ). Till this day, I have 4 younger cousins who memorise Quran. Again, I’m very grateful to live in this great education of my parents.

     I don’t  mean to lower my other cousins, but, I want you to know how much I thank to Allah for giving me this great ni’mat. According to the increasing of my ages and parent’s, we regularly hold a discussion about current issues. My father always asked for my opinion,and I often hear the opinion of them. I also want to say that, my parents never forced me and my siblings to study hard, it’s enough to them for us to understand the meaning of life. Then,my parents never care about our grade or position during the tests, it’s sufficient to them for us to know the knowledge as well. My parents always give us support in any field we choose.

      In conclusion, parents are a reflection of the children, raise them with good things since childhood, always give children lot of love and moral support because only with loves and support the children will grow up very well, never force them to the things they did not like before listening to their explanations, try to find a solution for them. Good parents is a parents that understand their children.



Wednesday, 25 November 2015

Let's we know the World

   And people around even my family do not know what I'm trying to say. After taking care of my granny, and had a mental breakdown, I try to cure myself by doing some work that far from my family and my house. This world always teach us about life and survive in hardship. My employer is my high school teacher, she quite cute and kind person. Her husband is a pilot and she has her own business, absolutely she lives in luxury. But, I feel very depress because she minimize the quantity of workers and maximize the works for her workers. She even does not know what happen to her store, how to pay the workers, the amount of money because she is employer and I'm as employee, so, she just says what she want to say and I have to do it instead she does not teach me anything about her store. She also asked me to do her school works, she told me that she has many things to do and does not enough time to organize it.

   As conclusion, even you are a boss or director or CEO or headmaster, you should know what actually happen to your employee, you have to know their true feeling, make them sincerely work for you. Then, even you are a ' big ' person, you should not head your employee as you like and, it does mean that you are a boss, so you just sitting on the spinning chair without doing anything and without know anything about you employees. Just say good morning every day you come to work, invite them to lunch together, ask them about their healthy, give them support to work hard, ask them if they have any problem and many more. Its very easy way. All people can do it.

   The employer should know employees feeling in order to let them feel happy works with you and employees should work hard to become great like you boss. And this is world actually, there is upper classes and lower classes, there is poor and rich person live together, there is big and small things stand next to each other. So, let we know the actual world so that make we realize at place we are.

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Love to Life

Salam alaik..

This my first post I made, I think I need a blog to story about my daily life. Actually, I'm quite secretive person. I don,t like to tell my life or my problems to others. I prefer to shut my mouth up. I hope this blog can give me some inspiration to color my life beautifully